Inspired by the latest Jane's Addiction release, along with the usual apres-climbing libations, I was standing in the shower thinking, and nearly had it...all neatly wrapped in one great understanding of unified theory and master plan, when the shower head started sputtering away some babble of Gonzo Journalism. In retrospect, I can't pass the buck or blame anything on the shower head. It was just doing what it does. I can however, take credit for engaging the discussion to follow.
For some time, I've truly been trying to live the dream - a dreamer's waking dream: lucid, powerful...memorable, yet present. I've made choices (or rather, it seems that climbing has made choices for me); I've made compromises; I've been inspired and I've been challenged. Consistently, I seek to find the most-efficient, cleanest burning method to power my own personal dream machine. Often times, this has meant accepting a low american-standard of living in trade for the freedom to chase these white dragon dreams of wild climbing in wilder places.
For as long as I can remember, I've struggled with the idea of self-promoting my climbing: climbing has always been held at the highest level of importance and respect in my life, much analogous to being my religion, so the notion of any such "impurity" is equitable to sin in my book; yet some argue that we are all sinners anyhow, so why sweat it? Compound this inner struggle with knowing that I am far from the best climber in the world (Unless we're talking about "...the one who is having the most fun." In that case, it is on like Donkey Kong muthafukkaaahs!!), or perhaps view it from the angle that I have a lot of respect for those who came before and you can quickly understand how this whole scam can be a bit tough to swallow.
However, the shower head mentioned something to the effect of Monkey Blogging and how "Good artist borrow, great artist steal." And suddenly, I was slapped across the face by the impatient backhand of understanding - wake up! I finally get it. There is not so much a balancing act between sides, along a line of self-judgement, but an endless grey-scale of possibilities and creativity. I don't really have to worry about it...afterall, given that one's motivations are pure, what's the difference between an un-reported solo ascent and an eleborate produciton for the camera, and does it matter? They are both experiences born of valid artistic expression - in the end, that's what my dream is about.
|Gratuitous Climbing Porn|